After struggling for over a little over a year with infertility, my husband, Ryan and I naturally ended up pregnant in May of 2024 in the cycle right before we would seek infertility treatments.
At 13 weeks gestation we were diagnosed with oligohydramnios (low amniotic fluid) and told that our baby girl may not have developed kidneys. We were told by the doctor that we would have to wait three weeks to reevaluate, but that in the mean time there was nothing we could do to increase the amount of amniotic fluid present. At this point in our pregnancy, our baby was responsible for the production of fluid. I reminded her daily how strong, resilient and capable she will be.
Since we had heard this news, we spent hours and hours researching and pondering the “what if’s”. We stayed hopeful and we prayed hard.
We spent countless hours trying to process all of the information and what life may look like— what this might mean for our baby girls future. I began to wonder if we would ever get to hold our baby in our arms or if we would ever get to bring her home.
Three weeks later, we had our repeat ultrasound. This scan showed absolutely no amniotic fluid, no bladder, and again no kidneys that had developed. Amniotic fluid is needed for lung development, therefore our baby would never develop lungs either.
The doctor used the words “this is a lethal anomaly without any option for intervention”.
Our choices were pretty straight forward: Continue the pregnancy and have Remi (maybe) continue to grow with no amniotic fluid present, no kidneys that developed, and no lungs that would develop which would lead to a palliative birth, If we did not miscarry before then, or terminate the pregnancy by D&E or induction and vaginal delivery. Ryan and I decided to go forward with an elective termination via induction and vaginal delivery. The pregnancy was still early enough that Remi never developed her pain pathways, we knew that she would never know pain if we did the termination early enough.
It was the hardest decision we’ve ever made and probably will ever make. Ryan and I considered our options so carefully.
After 14.5 hours of being induced, Remi Grace arrived on September 10th at 11:40 PM. She was 18 weeks and 5 days old. She weighed 9 ounces and was 9 inches long. We got to hold her, take photos of her, and honor her.
We will always wonder who Remi would have been.
We find comfort in knowing she is in God’s arms. What a wonderful place to be.
“Our daughter died. We didn’t take an easy route by any means. There’s no easy route. But we did choose the route that was the easiest on her. And for that, we are forever grateful”.
We are looking forward to participating in the Sweet Walk to Remember in October. Please consider supporting Sweet Grace Ministries and the families they serve in 2024.
