At the beginning of August 2023 my husband, Jonathan, and I went in for our 20 week
ultrasound to see our baby - our second little girl - and were met with the completely
devastating news that she had anencephaly; a life-limiting diagnosis meaning her brain and
skull had not developed.
We left the technician’s room feeling totally broken and shaken, with a million questions of what
life was going to look like in the following months and how we would get through this.
We shared the hard news with family and friends. One of my friends had experienced a
miscarriage previously and through that was acquainted with Sweet Grace Ministries. She
reached out to me after she heard of our baby’s condition, letting me know there was a basket
of things heading my way from them, that would help me through this.
I had no idea there was a local organization for families facing loss, and was completely
overwhelmed and in tears over the many thoughtful and personal items in it, donated by so
many people. I immediately felt less alone in my journey, and decided to look into SGM a bit
more.
I discovered they offered birth photos, and submitted a request through the website for more
info. I soon had not one, but 3 photographers offer to be on call for me, and in addition, was
offered a maternity shoot! It was humbling and I felt so cared for, and it validated that my baby
was special and loved.
How do I describe just how meaningful it was to have my pregnancy captured like it was in the
photos I received from Brianna? They held depth, soul, strength and grace in them. Everything
I was experiencing from Jesus through my journey of grief mixed with joy that I was processing
while carrying my sweet little girl, knowing I couldn’t keep her, and wanting to savor every
moment. The gift of these photos froze that all in time for me, and I can look back on them and
live in those moments again - feeling her kick and move and respond to me.
I was shown so much support and flexibility by the photographers as I went through days of
being flip-flopped between a scheduled c-section or waiting to be induced or go into labor.
The morning came of getting ready to meet our Selah Claire, and Nina volunteered most of her
day to be there for us, driving a good distance and arriving early in the morning. Her presence
just added to the calm & peace that filled our room, and she was so comfortable to be around.
From prepping for my Caesarean, to the moment our baby’s cry filled the room, to
grandparents getting to meet her - she was able to capture every moment. Many of which I
would have missed seeing or remembering through the blur of it all.
Every time I look through those photos, it’s like reliving a huge part of her life and I get to savor
it over and over again. I can’t imagine how I would feel today if I didn’t have the ability to go
back to that day like that.
As I look back over these past months, I feel like SGM has become a family to me. Katy has
reached out to me multiple times just to see how I’m doing and welcomed me into the support groups that meet. I’ve felt seen, supported, and gifted beauty out of the hardest
experience of my life. I’m forever grateful for the way my life, and Selah’s, was impacted
because of them, and for the knowledge that lives are continuing to be changed through this
ministry.
I am looking forward to participating in the Sweet Walk to Remember in October, to stand together with dozens of other loss moms and families, remembering our babies together. Please consider supporting Sweet Grace Ministries and the families they serve in 2024. They do so much good through these heartbreaking times.
