Boerne 0.5k

Sat May 2, 2020 Boerne, TX US 78006
Sponsors
2019 Recap Video
Description

We raised $46,000 in 2019, bringing our two year total to over $76,000!

  • We raised $46,000 for Blessings in a Backpack! We also collected over 1200 books and 400 jars of peanut butter.
  • So many people to thank that there is no way to do it individually....
  • Participants - 600 in-person and 300 virtual people attended. Family, friends, kids, dogs, a horse, teams, co-workers, and lots of other combinations. It was a true community of people!
    Volunteers - Over 50 volunteers made this event happen. We gave them the vaguest of directions and they just made it happen.
  • Sponsors - In 2019, we had over 35 sponsors!
  • Virtual Participants for 2019 - your t-shirt, sticker and medal will be shipped out in a couple of weeks.

 

Mark your calendars - the Boerne 0.5k will return on May 2, 2020!

  • Registration will open in mid-February
  • Returning "racers", including Regular Ol' Participants, Virtual Participants and 2019 Waitlisted people will be given priority for next year.
  • If you are interested in sponsoring the 2020 event, please email us at boernepoint5k@gmail.com 

 

A testimonial from Joey Davenport, a 2019 "Competitor"

Wow, thought we'd never get there!! 0.5k sounds easy...but only if you say it fast. "A half kilometer?", I thought it would be fairly quick. How wrong can one man be in his lifetime?!! 

After leaving the Dodging Duck Brewhaus we made it across River Rd with our lives intact, but only by the grace of God (and the help of Boerne's finest stopping traffic). We were almost instantly confronted by a sign with a mile marker indicating how far we had to go. It was like a slap in the face by the cold, harsh and completely unforgiving hand of reality, grimly reminding us that what we faced now was no mere afternoon perambulation, but a truly arduous journey that could cause even Jason and his Argonauts to fall short of the Herculean tasks required to complete the distance. 

We continued the path along the river, striving to maintain focus as we wound our way through various trials and temptations. I confess, with a heart made heavy by the weight of my weakness, that I failed the donut and coffee trial. The donut hole was fresh, moist, tender and tasty, and the coffee was hot and of such flavor and body that the Starbuck’s mermaid would blush should she ever sample its glory. Thankfully, my dear bride was close and rescued me from this dastardly distraction. 

Before you could say “Blessings In Backpacks” fifteen times we ran into the fearsome and totally unexpected Water Pool Hazard, and it was a crazy blur getting through it. Like an Ambien induced episode of somnambulism, I don't remember much about the Water Pool Hazard or how we actually survived it, but at the end it felt like I had just rafted through a five mile stretch of Class 5 white water. Only then did I glimpse the next test, and prudence demanded I take advantage of the “Shots of Courage” cleverly placed only a few paces before this bucket list challenge.

I spat on my hands and grasped the knotted rope and found myself struggling up a sheer rock cliff. I don’t know how, but the race organizers were able to have El Capitan moved to Texas, and only with the help of a young lady with great spirit and a powerful arm I crested the sheer precipice to my own safety, and am thankful that I survived to recount this truthful tale. It was not easy to do in cowboy boots and a kilt! The head-rush from the rock climb made a lot of what followed a blur, but I remember seeing nurses and thinking, I should get checked out to make sure it's safe to go on. 

Hark!! I first heard them as we exited from under HauptStrasse bridge. I'm sure their dulcet tones were akin to those of ancient lore that drove men mad as they passed too close to the Island of Sirens. I strove to get the attention of the Sirens, I mean Nurses, but they were posing for photos with their adoring fans and ignored my plea for a pulse check. They laughed, drank martini's and smoked cigarettes while I worried if my heart could withstand the arduous final stretch. Well, (spoiler alert) clearly it did or you wouldn't be reading this narrative!!

Out of nowhere there appeared a majestic steed and rider and I thought we had been transported to the Kentucky Derby. Shaking our heads and rubbing our eyes we realized this was the renowned Zeus and his trusty sidekick, Kristy Watson. We were so inspired by his strength and her beauty that we resolved to endure the final 0.03245 kilometers to the finish line that shimmered like a mirage in the distance. On we pressed. 

Then, in a classic pincer maneuver, to the left and right were a pair of charlatans who “lived in a van, down by the river”. Yeah, right! It was clear we needed to quickly escape the clamor of these two questionable characters as quickly as possible, and in a slow sprint we somehow closed on the distance to the elusive finish line that seemed to move further from us with each step. 

With profound perseverance, titanic tenacity and dogged determination we crossed the actual end of this half kilometer of hell. It was a near out of body experience and we were so pleased to see someone had the foresight to capture this image as we drug ourselves across the line to be declared THE WINNERS, unofficially, of course!

Despite all the hype, over-exaggeration and, yes, bloviating about this little race in this little town, I now must admit the terrible but obvious truth about it, as will anyone who participated in or witnessed any part of this organized melee: This was indeed, 

THE MOST 
IMPORTANT 
RACE 
IN THE WORLD...
EVER!!

 

2019 "RACE" SOLD OUT IN 37 MINUTES!

We're sorry that so many of you that wanted to register were unable to.   We doubled the size of the event this year in an effort to take more people and still sold out in just 37 minutes.  Please don't be mad at us - remember, we are just a group of 8 volunteers that put this thing together.  We want to continue to grow each year, but it's important to us that we do it in a manageable way that ensures that everyone has a good time.  The last thing we want is to grow too fast and end up with a complete cluster-you-know-what.  We want our "Race" to grow into one of Boerne's annual signature events. 

For those on the waiting list, you'll get an email from the registration system if any spots open up.  You can still join as a Virtual Participant and/or make a donation to our charity Blessings in a Backpack.

We really appreciate your support and understanding.  

 

The Boerne 0.5k - The Running Event for the Rest of Us!

Join your fellow underachievers for a day (actually more like 10 minutes) of glory, celebration and participation trophies to raise money for a great organization, Blessings in a Backpack!

The 2nd Annual Boerne 0.5k will be held at 11 am on May 4, 2019 at River Road Park.

“The World’s Most Important Race in the History of the World, Ever” is a tongue-in-cheek event that will not only lampoon the typical 5k, but also those made-for-overachievers-obstacle-course-adventure-races.

Here are the details!

  • The um, "Race" (emphasis on the air quotes) will start at River Road Park, just across from the Dodging Duck.  Because they are awesome, our friends at the Duck have offered all participants a free pint of beer before the start of the race, so get there early.  Hooray for beer!
  • The um, "Race", will then head down the River Road Park walkway where you will encounter challenging obstacles.  And by challenging, we mean Boerne 0.5k not challenging.
  • The um, “Race” will continue down the park path going underneath the Main Street Bridge where you will finish in a blaze of glory.
  • We will finish at the Grassy Knoll (too soon?), the area just below The Creek Restaurant.  It is here where the magic happens because now that you are a “Finisher”, you can take a whole bunch of selfies, post them all over social media, and generally remind all of your friends just how superior you are to them.  If you don’t take a selfie and post it somewhere, did it even happen?! Exactly.

Virtual Race Option!  Livestreamed Directly to Your Couch!  

  • Last year we had over 1,000 people sign up for the Procrastinator Prize Pack - “Swag without the Effort”.  These were folks that either signed up after we were sold out, or were just too far away from Boerne to make it.
  • This year, you can participate from afar using our Virtual Race!  Two of our funny and witty friends are going to “run” the “race” for you, one with a Go Pro attached to his head, and the other providing the live play-by-play and color commentary.
  • A few days beforehand, we will provide you with a private link so that you can watch the “race” as it unfolds.
  • Virtual Participants will get the t-shirt, the pretentious sticker and a medal - you'll be able to claim that you actually participated and are a finisher and no one will know any different!  Brilliant!  (All virtual participant names will be held in strict confidence and will never be released to the public. Your secret is safe with us.)
  • In all seriousness, the virtual option is our way to try and re-capture the generosity of people that bought the Procrastinators Prize Pack last year.  We recognize that your donation is just that - and we hope you’ll support us again and join us from wherever you are in the world.

Goodies and Fun Stuff!

IF YOU WANT A T-SHIRT ON RACE DAY - AND WHO DOESN'T WANT ONE OF THESE BAD BOYS - YOU MUST REGISTER PRIOR TO APRIL 12.  REGISTRATIONS AFTER THAT DATE WILL NEED TO PICK UP THEIR SHIRT 2-3 WEEKS AFTER THE EVENT.

  • ALL THE SWAG IS UPDATED FOR 2019!
  •  The pretentious oval Euro-style 0.5k sticker is back for 2019 and will be completely redesigned!  For those of you two-timers, now you can start a collection on the rear window of your car that tells everyone that a true athlete is onboard.
  • T-shirts of course.  Duh. And redesigned for 2019.  Duh.
  • Participation medals (everyone gets recognized for their achievements at this event, no matter how bad they are, because we are all about creating an environment of positivity and self-worth.)  If you thought last year’s “medal that is actually made out of wood that doubles as a coaster” was cool, then you’re going to be really disappointed with this year’s awards. No you won’t.
  • NEW FOR 2019!  Announcing the Boerne 0.5k Adventure Mud Warrior Crossfit Terrain Spartan Obstacle Course and Gauntlet “Race”.  We heard you loud on clear on the post race survey that we never sent out and that you never bothered to return - we need more action, you didn’t say!  So we’re giving you EXACTLY what you didn’t ask for - rope swings, climbing obstacles, mud pits, 12 ounce curl stations. Standby folks, because this is a real game changer!
  • Of course, fan favorites from last year will be back - the Coffee and Donut station at the halfway point for carb-loading and energy, a designated smoking section, the medical/nurses tent, and The Rolling Stones* playing all their hits at the finish line. *Band subject to change.
  • Individual and group costume contests with prizes.  Dress up in anything fun, stupid and zany! Cool sunglasses, cowboy hats, short shorts, Spurs gear, pajamas, you name it.  Come dressed for fun!
  • NEW FOR 2019!  A special costume contest just for all you that asked us over and over and over and over and over…..Introducing the “May the Fourth Be With You” costume contest for anyone wanting to dress up in their Star Wars garb.
  • Awards Presentation and post-”race” party at the Grassy Knoll (too soon?).  Our friends at Cibolo Creek Brewing Company will give all of you a free pint of beer just for you being you.  Hooray for beer! If you hung around for the post-race party last year, you know what a blast it was. Same this year.
  • Live music at the start and finish!
  • The world's best bagpipe player returns again in 2019!  Yes!!! He is one year better and therefore, likely the best bagpipe player you will hear in Boerne on that day.  He’s taking requests, but please, no rap. Metal is fine, but no rap.
  • Much, much, much more (as we think of things)

Teams

  • NEW FOR 2019!  Team “competition”
  • Team Captains can create the team through the registration process and then send invites to other team members.
  • What does "competition" mean?  How will you compete, exactly? What are the rules?
  • We don’t know.
  • Stop asking questions.
  • Trust us.  We'll figure it out and promise that you’ll have fun with whatever we come up with.
  • If you’re really worried about how the team competition will work, you probably don’t want to be on a team.  That’s not the point. Remember, everyone gets a trophy!
  • So stop asking questions, get your team together and sign up.

VIP Option

  • Don't feel like running?  Don't think you can make it the full 546 yards?  Then you should be a VIP.
  • For an additional $30, you don't even have to run!  How awesome is that?!
  • The official Boerne 0.5k shuttle is a restored 1963 VW bus.  If you don't want to walk over to the Grassy Knoll (too soon?), we'll shuttle you!
  • You still get your free beer at both brewpubs, and all of the other goodies
  • NEW FOR 2019!  Obviously, VIPs are the most important because they have the money to buy their way into doing nothing.  So we are expanding that that VIP experience. You think last year’s VIP medals were big? Can you say Flavor Flav for 2019?  Oh yeah. Huge. We’re looking out for you, big spender.

Racecation Package

  • Wanna spend the weekend in our cool little town and turn the Boerne 0.5k into a Racecation?
  • There are only two Racecation packages available so act quickly!
  • Package #1 is for two people and Package #2 for four.
  • Racecation packages include:
  • VIP “Race” entry and all of the amazing trappings that come with it
  • Friday and Saturday overnight accommodations in a downtown Boerne AirBnB
  • Dinner on Friday night, plus breakfast, lunch and dinner on Saturday at some of Boerne’s best locally owned restaurants.  Specific restaurants cannot be guaranteed but will include favorites such as Cypress Grille, Peggy’s on the Green, Little Gretel, The Creek, Cibolo Creek Brewery, Dodging Duck Brewhaus, Bear Moon Bakery and Cafe, Dienger Trading Company.
  • The Boerne 0.5k “Race” course, restaurants, accommodations and historic downtown Boerne are all walkable.  Park your car upon arrival on Friday and you won’t need it again until Sunday at check-out.
  • The 2-person Racecation Package accommodations are at the Garden House, which is just steps away from Main Street.  More information about this house is here.
  • The 4-person package accommodations are at the Duck Inn, which is just a half block away from the Dodging Duck and the starting line of the Boerne 0.5k.  More information about this house is here. 

Volunteers

  • Yes, we need them!
  • There is a link at the top of the website for volunteer information and registration.
  • Please pass the word to your friends.  And we'll gladly put your high schooler to work too!

 

Please join us for a unique event that promises to be full of fun and fundraising for a great local charity that helps feed our neighbors that are in need.

2018 Recap Video
Place
River Road Park
River Road
Boerne, TX US 78006
"Race" Contact Info
If you have any questions about this "Race", please contact the "Race" director at
The Official Boerne 0.5k Documentary

Only Some Were Boerne to Run: Others, Nah.

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