Logo Decal — $3.99 ea.

Because nothing says “I make questionable life choices” like a 5K and a comedy show. Snag this full-color Houston Roast Run decal (3" x 3") and stick it anywhere you want people to know you survived the jokes and the miles. Laptops, water bottles, your car bumper… or your ex’s mailbox (we don’t judge).

Pre-order with your registration and save, your dignity may be in short supply, but decals aren’t.

Trucker Hat — $24.99 ea.

Top off your look with the official Houston Roast Run lid because nothing says “I’m serious about running” like a mesh-backed hat that screams dad-on-a-5K. With a breathable back and curved brim, it’s perfect for keeping the sun out of your eyes, the sweat off your face, and your dignity mostly intact. Wear it post-run, at the comedy show, or whenever you want strangers to know you voluntarily paid money to be insulted.

Beanie — $22.99 ea.

Keep that big brain of yours warm with our official Houston Roast Run beanie. Soft, cozy, and stylish enough to cover up your questionable haircut. Perfect for chilly runs, post-race lounging, or just hiding the fact that you haven’t showered yet. Branded with the Roast Run logo, so everyone knows you survived 3.1 miles of cardio and comedy.

Performance Hoodie — $29.99 ea.

Turn up the heat without breaking a sweat. Our Houston Roast Run Performance Hoodie is built for comfort and style, whether you’re pounding out miles or just flexing at the after-party. Lightweight, breathable fabric keeps you moving, while the bold flaming mic logo on the front and “#LaughYourPaceOff” sleeve detail make sure nobody mistakes you for a boring runner.

Run in it, lounge in it, or wear it on stage if you’re brave enough this hoodie can handle it all.

Event Shirt — $15.99 ea.

Need a backup? Or just want one more to flex in rotation? Snag an additional Houston Roast Run performance tee. Same high-quality recycled fabric, same bold design, same ability to make your friends jealous that they didn’t sign up. Perfect for training runs, gym days, or whenever you want to remind people you survived cardio and comedy in one shot.