Remembering SGT Blake Evans
A SOLDIER, SON, HUSBAND, FATHER, and FRIEND
SGT Blake Evans
Born: September 21, 1983
KIA: May 25, 2008 (IRAQ)
I had the honor to sit down with Judy DiGiovanni. She is a Gold Star Mother. Her son Blake Evans was killed in action (KIA) on May 25, 2008, in IRAQ. Where do you start when you tell the story of one of America’s fallen Sons? I suppose the beginning is a good place to start. We must tell these stories because if we don’t, we will forget. They say that “a Hero dies twice, once when the last breath leaves their body, and again when their name is spoken for the last time”. The purpose of this story, the Gold Star Mission, and the Run for the Fallen is to make sure the second time NEVER happens.
Blake’s mom jokingly, and with love, describes her son as her “hellion child”. Judy and I sat and talked about Blake for 2 hours. It became clear that the difficult child she described, personified all the characteristics our military demands, and features that are building blocks of a leader and Soldier. Blake was described as to having ambition, drive, tenacity, realism, appetite to learn, loyalty, strong work ethic, and integrity. He embodied the best of the good and bad. He was a risk taker but was also caring and compassionate. He had a strong drive to help others. Blake had the dream of becoming a police officer. He tried college but school was not for him. He decided to join the military and became an active duty infantryman. Judy supported his decision and laughed as she recalled when he talked to her about his decision to join. One of her concerns was that Blake was a poor runner and had told him he needed to work on that. Judy remembers the change she witnessed with Blake following basic training. It was a transformation from the hell child she lovingly jokes about to a disciplined Soldier. Judy even went up to his Drill Sergeant and asked how they did it. She said Army training really calmed him down.
Blake was a smart and caring Soldier and was soon promoted to a noncommissioned officer (NCO). His mom talks about how Blake was very fortunate as he had senior leadership that helped mold and guide him during the maturation process. Judy recalls Blake talking about these individuals having an impact on his growth as a NCO. Blake loved being an NCO and loved taking care of Soldiers. He loved being in the infantry.
As Blake’s military career grew and transformed, so did his family. He got married and had two daughters. Blake’s mom recalls a story when Blake called home when his youngest daughter was born. She smiles as she remembers the memory of him being so excited and saying, “she is perfect!” His family was the focal point in his universe and a reason why he extended his military contract.
Blake deployed twice, and his mom reminiscences that prior to his second deployment. She said Blake was excited but also apprehensive. Blake had said to his mom he wasn’t sure if he was going to come home from his second deployment. It was as if he had a premonition that he wasn’t coming back. His second deployment was exponentially more difficult, and his unit suffered many causalities and loss. Just prior to Blake’s death he had called home and talked to Judy because he had 2 weeks of leave coming up. His plan was to spend one week at Ft. Campbell with his wife and kids and then one week with Judy visiting. He was determined to have a whole week with his mom.
Judy received a phone call around 1830 from the Evan’s neighbor at Ft. Campbell. The dreaded knock at the door came at 10 till 10 by the Causality Notification Officer (CNO) and Chaplain the night Blake was killed. The U.S. Army’s policy is to make a personal notification to the primary next of kin and secondary next of kin of the deceased soldier within four hours after learning of the death. I won’t go into the details of a mother being told her son is gone. There are no words in the English language that can describe the grief one feels in this event. Judy says there are so many emotions you go through. Even with a support system, you are not prepared for it all.
During Blake’s funeral, Judy recalls how she did not want to leave her son. She wanted to stay with him over night until his wake (visitation) the following day. The funeral home was asked and there were no objections. Throughout this process she was provided support from an Army Colonel. It was this Colonel that encouraged Judy to go home and get rest the night before Blake’s funeral and that he would stay with Blake. He stayed the night at the funeral home next to Blake’s casket and stood watch for a grieving Gold Star Mother. Judy talks about having Blake’s wife and her granddaughters with her during this time was vital. She remembers how Blake’s youngest daughter (approximately 2 at the time) would sleep with her, was always present, and a great comfort. Judy says it was her youngest granddaughter that really got her through the worst days. Judy laughs as she tells me Blake’s youngest daughter is a spitting image and personality of Blake.
The moment Blake died Judy became a Gold Star Mother and his wife, a Gold Star Wife, and his children became members of the Gold Star Family. I was shocked to learn from Judy how many people don’t know what it means to be a Gold Star Family member. The U.S. Department of Defense issues Gold Star lapel pins to immediate family members of a fallen service member of the military. These pins are worn by spouses, parents, and children of service members killed while in active military service. There are two types of pins given to Gold Star Family members. The one Blake’s family was given contains a gold star on a field of purple surrounded by laurel leaves representing a service member that died in combat. Judy says, “it isn’t a club she ever wanted to be apart of”. She remembers when she was first told and was given her Gold Star to wear that she didn’t comprehend that now she was part of this group. Judy explains what being a Gold Star Family means, “I had a loved one that served our country, for our freedom, and they died in service to our country”. Judy also remarks she strongly believes being a Gold Star isn’t just for those families of service members that were KIA but any service members that died while in service to our country (accident, suicide, etc). Everyone should be remembered.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross writes, "The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen." Judy is truly one of our nations beautiful Gold Star Mothers. She has known struggle and loss. She found her way out of the depths and with grace and self-confidence shares her experience and her son’s story with others. She is exceptionally brave for sharing Blake’s story with me. It was an honor and a moment I will never forget.
In the end the things that are left are the last conversations, a few voicemails from missed calls during his last deployment, and pictures of Blake. However, it is the memory of Blake that his family and friends try to hold on to. Death does that. You remember the last thing you said and think about the things you should have said when you hung up the phone. When someone you love dies, and you're not expecting it, you don't lose them all at once; you lose them in pieces over a long time. Judy mentioned as time passed it felt like people had forgotten Blake and about his sacrifice. This country recognizes one day a year for its’ fallen Sons and Daughters. However, that is not enough. Memorial Day is extremely difficult for Gold Star Families. As a nation and as a people we need to take more than just one day to remember our fallen military. The Gold Star Mission Run for the Fallen is one of many events that are solely focused on remembering our Nation’s fallen and honoring Gold Star Families. The various Gold Star Mission events held each year raise money for scholarships in the names of fallen military. In 2020 the Gold Star Mission awarded a $1,000 scholarship in the name of Blake Evans.
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